LOVE AND SEX AND MAGIC…

After several offers for purely sexual arrangements from several men the first week of February I was reeling quite a bit. I can’t help but wonder why, if someone is looking for a purely physical experience one wouldn’t choose a person for purely physical reasons. And if you are going to bother using other qualifications to chose a lover, why not just choose a girlfriend.

But above all of that, I started to feel objectified. Like something simply valued for it’s use. These men found value in me in as much as they could use me. Much like a person with wet hands might find a paper towel incredibly valuable for that one moment. But then after wiping his or her hands — all dry a clean again — the towel was suddenly worth nothing and left as refuse.

And I’m worth so much more than a paper towel. And, as powerful as my personal sexuality is, I’m worth so much more than it as well. There are so many other things about who I am what I want out of life and what I can offer a partner — or even a friend or acquaintance — that I can’t understand why a man would want nothing but sex from me.

Beyond that, when a man says that he doesn’t need any romantic entanglements, but he’d like to start a sexual relationship with you its hard not to feel like someone just said to you, “I’d like to have sex with you because I know I won’t fall in love with you.”

Really? You know you won’t fall in love with me? How am I supposed to take that as anything but an insult? Does that mean that you have already weighed all of the things you know about me and my personality and decided I’m not worth getting close to? What makes you think you know enough about me to make that kind of decision.

One day I was livid over lunch. My brain swirling with all of these ideas. So I chose to text every man in my phone (except for the ones currently propositioning me). Some of the guys are ex-boyfriends. Some are ex-lovers. There’s even a current lover in the mix. Some have wanted to date me and some are my good friends. I found their answers incredible so I decided to open this up for further discussion.

So, back to the question: What makes a man decide he wants more from a woman than just sex? Or domestic favors?