Chat-Up Lines
There's nothing worse than the long, cold walk back to your mates when a chat up line
falls flat. Luckily, help is at hand: scientists have worked out the
best chat-up lines to use, and in what situations they work best. No,
really… So check out the below and diminish your odds of a long walk
back to your seat this weekend.
1. The best chat up line if you want a girlfriend: “I like your jacket”
Looking for something long term? Cut the cheese. A Journal of Social Psychology study found that women were more likely to see a man as a long-term potential
if his opening gambit was a compliment about her appearance that was
non-sexual in nature. The worst chat-up line was a cheesy pick up eg. “I
lost my number, can I have yours?” – the women rated these guys as
being less trustworthy and intelligent than the average gent.
2. The best chat up line if you’re in a bar: “Do you want to dance?”
Time to take some dance lessons. A study in the journal Sex Roles
found that almost 70% of women considered this to be the best chat up
line a stranger could use if they were in a bar. The worst chat up line?
Anything that could be seen as negging (a slight insult designed to throw the recipient of guard) such as “nice jewellery – did you rob Woolworths?”.
3. The best chat up line if you’ve never met before: “You look really familiar – do I know you?”
A New York State University study
found that innocuous chat up lines worked best on strangers. In fact,
they worked as well as if the man went up to her and said, “I find you
really attractive, what’s your name?” – but was less embarrassing to
pull off. The worst line to use is "anything flippant", according to the
study. Must. Not. Mention. The weather.
4. The best chat up line if you’re out after work: “I don’t normally do this, but I just wanted to come and say hi. Would you like another drink?”
A Monmouth University study
found that busy women who have to make decisions all day suffer from
"ego depletion" at the end. What this basically means is that they are
sick of making decisions. So, using a direct line that ends with an offer will make it really easy for her to say yes.
5. The best chat up line when you’re on public transport: “Can I get the door for you / help you with that bag?”
A study published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences
found that chat up lines that displayed a helpfulness, generosity and a
kind nature work best when approaching a woman in public. The worst
lines to use involved jokes and sexual references – unsurprisingly.
6. The best chat up line when you’re at a football match: “You’re gorgeous!”
The same Personality and Individual Differences study
found that the exception to 'enticing women in public with helpfulness'
rule was with women who were energetic, outgoing thrill-seekers; they
responded best to men who showered them with overt generic flattery as
an opening line. Not that this means you should be a douche and expect a
date...
7. The best chat up line to use when you’re outside: “Do you want to play Frisbee?”
This obviously only works if you a)
have a Frisbee or b) are somewhere where playing with a Frisbee would be
appropriate. It's not one to roll out when, say, you're crossing a busy
road and spot someone you like. According to the journal Sex Roles, this
opener is fun, innocent and not overtly threatening or sexual. It’s
also an offer that is easy to refuse, so you’re not intruding on her
day. In this (seemingly Frisbee-obsessed) study, the worst line to use
is “Hey did you see me make that great throw” – according to 90% of the
women quizzed. No one likes a show off.
8. The best chat up line if either of you are shy: “Hey – have you met my mate Dave*?”
*You obviously being Dave, and using your own name. A Communications Research Report study
found that a "third party introduction" was the most "appropriate and
effective" opening line when either of you are bashful. Direct
compliments, jokes or flippant lines were basically considered
terrifying.
9. The best chat up line if you want a one night stand and are not afraid of getting a drink thrown over you: “Why are you wearing that weird outfit?”
A University of Kentucky study
found that some women who were more interested in one night stands than
a long-term relationship were more attracted to men who 'negged’ them.
This may be because it allows you to demonstrate social dominance. This
one really is a numbers game and an ‘at your own risk’-type thing. We'll
be accepting no responsibility if it backfires spectacularly.
10. The best chat up line to use at the launderette: “Do you want to grab a coffee while we wait for our washes to finish?”
That Sex Roles journal
piece is a real goldmine: they identified this little nugget as the
best way to chat up a woman at the launderette. Why? Because you’re
demonstrating your worth – you’re bored, she’s bored and you’re offering
to take her out of this boring situation. And hey, it worked for Ross
and Rachel.
But if she says no, be prepared to go
anyway to walk off the awkward. The worst chat up line to use in this
situation, according to the bods: “Men shouldn’t have to wash their own
clothes anyway.” Which is kinda not-so-sexy…
11. The best chat up line to use on someone you work with: “Do you know any good exhibitions/restaurants/museums to visit this weekend?”
A report published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences found that women respond more positively to chat up lines that suggest the talker is cultured.
By asking this, you’re demonstrating
that you’re a person of taste and that you obviously think she is too.
The worst thing you could say to her: a sexual compliment. Unless you
are actively aiming for a HR write up.
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