All men want to be the master of their partner’s pleasure, we know this
to be true. Unfortunately there’s no “One Size Fits All”
formula for how to please each individual woman, and you can’t always count on your new sex partner to be able to communicate her desires early on. So what’s an eager-to-please man to do if he wants a surefire way to rock any partner’s world?
formula for how to please each individual woman, and you can’t always count on your new sex partner to be able to communicate her desires early on. So what’s an eager-to-please man to do if he wants a surefire way to rock any partner’s world?
No matter who you’re with or what they’re into, there’s one ingredient
that is sure to set you apart from all other lovers: Variety AKA the
spice of your sex life.
It doesn’t matter how hot your go-to
moves are. If you’re doing the same things in bed time after time,
things are bound to become a little stale. That’s why you need to mix
things up and surprise your partner with more adventurous tricks and new paths to pleasure.
If you can not only discover her hot spots, but also introduce her to
hotter ones she didn’t know she had, you can almost guarantee a return
customer, or at the very least, a standing O.
Lucky for you, these hotbeds for erotic activity (also known as
erogenous zones) are located all across the female body and are
surprisingly easy to pleasure. So turn on some sensual music, light a
few aromatherapy candles, and settle in — It’s time to go exploring!
From her head all the way to her toes, here are 10 of the top erogenous zones to turn her on:
Her Head
Have
you ever been on the receiving end of a scalp massage and felt those
warm fuzzy tingles from head to toe? That’s because the skin on the top
of your head is loaded with nerves that are extremely sensitive to the
touch. Stimulating the scalp in the right way releases a flood of
feel-good hormones like serotonin and oxytocin. It also increases blood
flow, not just to her brain (the largest sex organ, remember?) but all
over her body.
Next time you and your partner are kissing or
cuddling, open your fingers wide and run them slowly through her hair,
lightly stroking her scalp with your fingertips. Start behind her ears,
at the base of the head, and circulate to the front, kind of like you’re
lathering shampoo into your hair. Scalp massages are both soothing and
sensual: They help release tension, and get her in the mood for other
stimulating activities.
Her Ears
Although ears contain a ton
of tiny nerve endings that send pleasurable responses to the brain, they
receive very little attention in their day to day; this makes them an
even hotter spot to stimulate during sexy time. Still, not everyone is
comfortable with full tongue-to-ear penetration so the trick is to start
off start off slowly and work your way up to more full ear contact.
Start by lightly tracing the C-shaped outline of your partner’s ear
with your fingertips or with your tongue. Gently kiss her earlobe or
hold it lightly in your mouth and massage it with your lips. If she
seems okay with this, you can take it as a green light to start to
nibble or suck on the lobe. Once you become more comfortable with the
landscape, try combining all of these moves together and every once and
while, work your tongue into the center of her ear for a surprising but
pleasurable sensation.
Another great way to stimulate this spot is
with sound! Never underestimate the power of a low moan or a sultry
whisper sent directly (but softly) into her ear canal to drive her mad
with desire.
Her Lips
Lips are the most exposed of all
erogenous zones, and are packed with a ton of nerve endings (100 times
more than our fingertips) that are sensitive to even the slightest
touch. Stimulating them releases floods of feel-good hormones to our
brains that affect our emotions, as well as our lady parts. That’s why
kissing is such an essential act for couples. It enhances intimacy and
helps partners connect, plus it just feels good.
Lips can be
best stimulated through kissing, obviously, but don’t be afraid to add a
little variety to the way you’re pleasuring them! Your mouth should not
be pressed up against hers like a dead fish. Use your lips, tongue and
teeth to lick, nibble and caress her top and bottom lips. Every once in
awhile, take a break from kissing to gently trace the outline of her
lips with your thumb as you gaze into her eyes and catch your breath,
before leaning in for more.
Her Neck
The neck is an area that
is most sensitive to LIGHT sensations, and it’s also one of the sexiest
places to touch, lick and kiss. Because the skin in this area is thin,
it does not take a lot to make it feel good. Even the feeling of gentle
breath on the nape of the neck can send shivers down a woman’s spine.
This
is a great erogenous zone to start stimulating, even before your
partner is fully aroused. Try sweeping her hair up and planting gentle,
warm kisses along the side of her neck, close to the place you would
touch to check a pulse. The skin here is especially thin, meaning every
sensation will be magnified. Then you can kiss your way up to her
earlobe for a gentle nibble or two before going in for the full lip
lock.
Her Nipples
Although men have been paying very special
attention to nipple for years, it’s remarkable how few men know how to
pleasure them to their full potential. Research shows that nipple
stimulation is processed in the same region of the brain as touch to the
clitoris and vagina, making it a key part of the holy trinity of female
pleasure.
While gently massaging your partner’s breast with
one hand, use your fingers or tongue to lightly trace the area around
the areola, before placing your open mouth on her nipple. Try using your
lips to softly hold the nipple in your mouth and run your tongue back
and forth over it; use your lips and tongue to massage the area, paying
attention to her bodily cues to determine what she likes best.
Besides licking and sucking, you can also use a clitoral vibrator (Like the We-Vibe Touch) on a low setting to lightly massage her nipples, as they are very sensitive to vibrations.
Her Lower Back
Whether
it’s at the end of a long day, or just another Tuesday, no woman can
resist the power of a sensual back massage. The back is riddled with
muscles and nerves that respond positively to touch, and the small of
the back is especially sensitive.
Start off by gently rubbing
and caressing her back, focusing most of your attention to the sacrum,
which is the area of her lower back just above the tailbone that is rich
with nerve endings. Then you can start massaging the area right above
her buttocks, using your thumbs to knead either side of (but not
directly over) her spine. This maneuver becomes especially hot with the
addition of some luxurious massage oil, like the moisturizing oil from
Emily & Tony aromatherapy massage candles.
This
move will not only help to relax your partner, but also increase blood
flow to her pelvic region and increase its sensitivity. Perfect for what
comes next!
Her Abdomen
Many women hold a lot of
insecurities about their midsection, but the fact is that the abdomen is
an extremely erotic area that should not be ignored. A woman’s
abdominal muscles are connected to her vagina, which is why some women
can even orgasm simply from doing core exercises. When these muscles are
lightly stimulated during foreplay, it causes them to contract in
anticipation, which actually boosts arousal. Plus, that stretch of skin
between the breasts and pubic mound is loaded with nerve endings, and
it’s proximity to the genitals makes it that more more sensitive to the
touch.
With your partner straddling you, start slowly stroking
your fingers up and down her stomach or across her lower abdomen
(between her bellybutton and pubic mound) which will stimulate blood
flow to her nether regions. Allow your strokes to get lower and lower,
closer to her nether regions, then bring them back up. The anticipation
will build arousal until she is begging you for more direct stimulation.
Her Clitoris
The
clitoris is the only part of the human body that’s sole purpose is to
provide pleasure. With 8,000 nerve endings packed in such a small little
space, you’ve gotta respect that ratio!
Every clitoris is a little different
in terms of sensitivity; even light pressure from fingertips may be too
much for some ladies, while others can take a lot more stimulation.
Start off light: Use two fingertips to gently massage the clitoris. Try
using a circular motion, or switch it up with some up and down movements
as well. Experiment with different speeds and pressure to see what
works best for the recipient. Remember, this is not a rub n’ tug kind of
experience, so be gentle. And a little lubrication certainly doesn’t
hurt.
You can also stimulate the clitoris with your mouth, or even bring a vibrator into the mix! The egg-shaped Mimi by Je Joue is the perfect sex toy for clitoral stimulation.
Her Inner Thighs
As
anyone on the receiving end of a tickle fight will tell you, the inner
thighs are ridiculously sensitive to all forms of touch. Along with the
backs of her knees, the inner thighs are loaded with nerve endings and
are often considered to be among the most sensitive parts of the body,
so gentle touches and licks are most preferred.
Next time
you’re planning on going down on your partner, take a detour and show a
little love to her inner thighs. Use gentle finger strokes and light
licks to stimulate the skin there, as well as soft breaths against the
slightly moist spots where your tongue has just been. You can even
massage her thighs while your perform oral on her, which will stimulate
the blood-flow to her genitals, making everything your mouth is doing
feel that much better.
Her Feet
You don’t have to have a
fetish to be able to show your partner’s feet a little love. Many are
surprised to find that a foot stimulation can actually be a real turn
on! This is because there are pressure points in your feet that are
believed to trigger sexual arousal, or at the very least, help her
de-stress after a hard day.
Plop your partner’s feet into
your lap and treat her (hopefully clean) tootsies to a sensual rub down.
Start by massaging the pads of her feet, using your thumbs to rub
upward in a circular motion. Repeat this kneading motion as you move
slowly down the length of her foot, then move back up again all the way
to the toes. Remember, this is not a strength competition, so ask her
what type of pressure she prefers.
For more sex and relationship advice from Dr. Emily Morse, visit SexWithEmily.com and check out her bi-weekly podcast Sex With Emily.
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